Sunday, March 30, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
What Chairmen do
The Chairmen, or L'age d' Chaise
By Jean-Thomas Bedard for The National Film Board of Canada.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
A Public Service Announcement featuring a polpular Film and Television Star
Hello, I'm popular film and television star Zach Braff. I see you're on the Internet. It's a lot of fun, isn't it? You can talk to your friends and say whatever you want, right?
But even though you're sitting around in your underwear eating Spaghetti-o's right out of the can with spork you found on the floor, that doesn't mean that what you write is only visible to one or two people. In fact, thousands of strangers might be reading everything you write. Tens of thousands. Millions of people.
Would you show them your dirty underwear?
THINK BEFORE YOU POST!
Because your privacy isn't private when you do it in public.
temple of wrong is not affiliated with Zach Braff Industries Inc.
But even though you're sitting around in your underwear eating Spaghetti-o's right out of the can with spork you found on the floor, that doesn't mean that what you write is only visible to one or two people. In fact, thousands of strangers might be reading everything you write. Tens of thousands. Millions of people.
Would you show them your dirty underwear?
THINK BEFORE YOU POST!
Because your privacy isn't private when you do it in public.
temple of wrong is not affiliated with Zach Braff Industries Inc.
The SHOCKING results of the second poll
The votes are in, and you aren't gonna believe it.
Cats
1 (8%)
Bacon
5 (41%)
Beer
0 (0%)
A choice of dipping sauces
2 (16%)
B00BIES, duh.
4 (33%)
I cannot believe it! Beer got NO votes! Dipping sauces beat cats! And the winner, edging out boobies by one vote ....BACON!!!!
You clearly have great taste.
Cats
1 (8%)
Bacon
5 (41%)
Beer
0 (0%)
A choice of dipping sauces
2 (16%)
B00BIES, duh.
4 (33%)
I cannot believe it! Beer got NO votes! Dipping sauces beat cats! And the winner, edging out boobies by one vote ....BACON!!!!
You clearly have great taste.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Awesome Power of Love!
Found at Target today by a mysterious fellow I will identify as Darth Danzig. Nothing I could possibly say can improve upon this.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Poll Results!
The very exciting results of the first poll are in!
No ... 2 (16%)
Nope ... 1 (8%)
Um.... let me check.... no. ... 3 (25%)
YES! ...just kidding, I'm not. ... 6 (50%)
Votes: 12
All I have to say to that is:
But really, I'm glad you aren't wearing any pants. Because that means FUN.
I am not glad that only twelve people responded, though. Because at least one of those people was me. The next poll will be about what I should do so more people will look at my blog, or at least answer the polls. And you know what they say, if you don't vote, you can't bitch. Not that that has ever stopped anyone.
No ... 2 (16%)
Nope ... 1 (8%)
Um.... let me check.... no. ... 3 (25%)
YES! ...just kidding, I'm not. ... 6 (50%)
Votes: 12
All I have to say to that is:
But really, I'm glad you aren't wearing any pants. Because that means FUN.
I am not glad that only twelve people responded, though. Because at least one of those people was me. The next poll will be about what I should do so more people will look at my blog, or at least answer the polls. And you know what they say, if you don't vote, you can't bitch. Not that that has ever stopped anyone.
Friday, February 8, 2008
I learned it from watching you!
If you grew up when I did, in the seventies and eighties, you may remember that there were little Educational Interludes slipped into your Scooby Doo. There was In The News, there was Schoolhouse Rock, and there were a wide variety of PSAs that were created expressly for children.
For instance, there was Time for Timer. Yes, that's his name. Not only does he have a weird name...what the hell is he, exactly? I keep thinking he's a glob of fat with legs. But he hankers, as I do, for a hunk of cheese. We are so different, yet so alike.
Then there was Woodsy Owl, who taught us to Give a Hoot! What the world need is more iconic costumed crusaders.
This Abominable Snowman spot, by the Better Business Bureau, is extrodinary to consider through the lens of nostalgia. Now it seems that every show or film directed at young children is just a long commercial for a huge pile of toys, video games, and flammable pajamas. (MADE IN CHINA
)
Gordon Graham Gantz was the original metrosexual.
OH SNAP THAT DOLPHIN TOOK THAT DUDE'S CIGARRETTE.
OK, everyone. Get ready to hide behind the couch with your fingers in your ears... because if this didn't scare the SHIT out of you when you were a kid you are either a sociopath or a liar. I bet you already know who it is.
XPOST- more links, less talk.
For instance, there was Time for Timer. Yes, that's his name. Not only does he have a weird name...what the hell is he, exactly? I keep thinking he's a glob of fat with legs. But he hankers, as I do, for a hunk of cheese. We are so different, yet so alike.
Then there was Woodsy Owl, who taught us to Give a Hoot! What the world need is more iconic costumed crusaders.
This Abominable Snowman spot, by the Better Business Bureau, is extrodinary to consider through the lens of nostalgia. Now it seems that every show or film directed at young children is just a long commercial for a huge pile of toys, video games, and flammable pajamas. (MADE IN CHINA
)
Gordon Graham Gantz was the original metrosexual.
OH SNAP THAT DOLPHIN TOOK THAT DUDE'S CIGARRETTE.
OK, everyone. Get ready to hide behind the couch with your fingers in your ears... because if this didn't scare the SHIT out of you when you were a kid you are either a sociopath or a liar. I bet you already know who it is.
XPOST- more links, less talk.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The Mysterious Case of the Standing Towel
One year ago tommorrow...
When I walked into my bathroom yesterday morning, a very odd thing indeed was standing there to greet me.
Originally posted here, with many hilarious comments.
When I walked into my bathroom yesterday morning, a very odd thing indeed was standing there to greet me.
It really did have a bit of an attitude, too. An air of menace that even the bright winter sunlight filtering through the shower curtain could not supress. It stood there all damn day, glowering out the door. Have you ever been glowered at by a towel? It's not nice.
To assure you that the towel is, in fact, standing completely on its own power, I've provided a rear and aerial view.
Why is it standing there? What does it want? If my towel is getting uppity, will other inanimate domestic objects join it in rebellion?
I might be completely fucked.
Originally posted here, with many hilarious comments.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Cross Posties
I just started this particular blog, but I've been doing Various and Sundry Things on the internet for a long time. I'm posting a lot in order to build up material; some of this may be new to you, some of the entries might be quite old. Most of the people who come here are going to remember some of these posts from Metafilter, Myspace, or gawd knows where else I've posted. If I'm cross posting, I'll link to the original so you won't go nuts. I'll be able to expand some entries and edit some, depending on the limitations of the original posting environment.
Fascinating Japanese Cartoon
UGOKIE-KO-RI-NO-TATEHIKI(1933)
(Moving picture -Fox and Asian racoon's cheats each other)
Director:Ikuo Oishi
In the temple that became ruins, the fox that disguises as the samurai does the fight of magic with Asian racoon's parent and child.
The blurb from the Yutube entry doesn't even begin to cover why I find this cartoon so utterly spellbinding. Clearly, the animation is influenced by Fleischer studios, but the characters, the music, and the story are distinctly rooted in Japanese folklore and theater. The theme of transformation is particularly important.
It's interesting to note that the main characters are the tanuki (raccoon dog) and the fox. In Fleischer's cartoons, there is a great deal of flexibility, and characters often stretch and transform at will. In this cartoon, the animals that do this have a tradition throughout folklore of these particular magical abilities.
This is an excerpt from an informative article by Norman A. Rubin
ANIMALS WITH SUPERNATURAL POWERS
According to legend certain animals are created with supernatural powers. They can transform themselves into anything they desire, and can even acquire other magical abilities. The Japanese raccoon (tanuki) and the fox (kitsune) are the most popular animals attributed with magical powers. They have similar roles in folklore. They are pictured as mischievous rogues who often get themselves into trouble. They can, at times, be frightening creatures, and at other moments be capable of making a negative situation positive. Sometimes they are treated as godly figures and become cultural heroes. The ‘tanuki’ is sometimes seen as a witch, a cannibal monk, or a one-eyed demon who murders his victims with thunder, lightning or earthquakes.
The ‘tanuki’ is a small hairy animal, and it is believed that he can transform into a frightening creature. Sometimes he is depicted humourously, having a gigantic scrotum which he drags behind him or wears it as a kimono. In some Netsuke figures the ‘tanuki’ appears as a Buddhist monk dressed in robes and banging on his scrotum as if it were a temple drum. “There is a fable that tells of an incident by the abbot of the Morinji Temple. He bought a tea-kettle and instructed one of the monks to clean it. Suddenly a voice spoke from the kettle, ‘Ow that hurts, please be more gentle.’ When the abbot wanted to boil some water, out popped the tail, legs and arms of a ‘tanuki’ and the vessel started to run about the room. It dumbfounded the poor abbot and he tried to catch the kettle, but it eluded him.”
The fox (kitsune) is frequently a subject in Netsuke figurines. Many strange and uncanny qualities are attributed to the fox. The‘kitsune’ have the ability to change their shape, but their faces remain fox-like. In folklore, foxes pretend to be humans in order to lead men astray.
A black fox is good luck, a white fox calamity; three foxes together portend disaster. Buddhist legend tells of 'kitsune’ who disguise themselves as nuns, and wear traditional robes (depicted in Netsuke figurines). Fables tell how the fox likes to appear as women. Stories tell that while the ‘kitsune’ is in such a guise, he goes about tricking and misleading men into seduction. When the seduced come to the realisation of the true identity of their supposed love, the fox disappears. Legends tell of how ‘Kitsune’ can hypnotize people and lead them into perilous situations. To do this, according to the tales, they illuminate the path leading to such disasters, and this illumination is known as a ‘foxflare’ (kitsune bi).
(Moving picture -Fox and Asian racoon's cheats each other)
Director:Ikuo Oishi
In the temple that became ruins, the fox that disguises as the samurai does the fight of magic with Asian racoon's parent and child.
The blurb from the Yutube entry doesn't even begin to cover why I find this cartoon so utterly spellbinding. Clearly, the animation is influenced by Fleischer studios, but the characters, the music, and the story are distinctly rooted in Japanese folklore and theater. The theme of transformation is particularly important.
It's interesting to note that the main characters are the tanuki (raccoon dog) and the fox. In Fleischer's cartoons, there is a great deal of flexibility, and characters often stretch and transform at will. In this cartoon, the animals that do this have a tradition throughout folklore of these particular magical abilities.
This is an excerpt from an informative article by Norman A. Rubin
ANIMALS WITH SUPERNATURAL POWERS
According to legend certain animals are created with supernatural powers. They can transform themselves into anything they desire, and can even acquire other magical abilities. The Japanese raccoon (tanuki) and the fox (kitsune) are the most popular animals attributed with magical powers. They have similar roles in folklore. They are pictured as mischievous rogues who often get themselves into trouble. They can, at times, be frightening creatures, and at other moments be capable of making a negative situation positive. Sometimes they are treated as godly figures and become cultural heroes. The ‘tanuki’ is sometimes seen as a witch, a cannibal monk, or a one-eyed demon who murders his victims with thunder, lightning or earthquakes.
The ‘tanuki’ is a small hairy animal, and it is believed that he can transform into a frightening creature. Sometimes he is depicted humourously, having a gigantic scrotum which he drags behind him or wears it as a kimono. In some Netsuke figures the ‘tanuki’ appears as a Buddhist monk dressed in robes and banging on his scrotum as if it were a temple drum. “There is a fable that tells of an incident by the abbot of the Morinji Temple. He bought a tea-kettle and instructed one of the monks to clean it. Suddenly a voice spoke from the kettle, ‘Ow that hurts, please be more gentle.’ When the abbot wanted to boil some water, out popped the tail, legs and arms of a ‘tanuki’ and the vessel started to run about the room. It dumbfounded the poor abbot and he tried to catch the kettle, but it eluded him.”
The fox (kitsune) is frequently a subject in Netsuke figurines. Many strange and uncanny qualities are attributed to the fox. The‘kitsune’ have the ability to change their shape, but their faces remain fox-like. In folklore, foxes pretend to be humans in order to lead men astray.
A black fox is good luck, a white fox calamity; three foxes together portend disaster. Buddhist legend tells of 'kitsune’ who disguise themselves as nuns, and wear traditional robes (depicted in Netsuke figurines). Fables tell how the fox likes to appear as women. Stories tell that while the ‘kitsune’ is in such a guise, he goes about tricking and misleading men into seduction. When the seduced come to the realisation of the true identity of their supposed love, the fox disappears. Legends tell of how ‘Kitsune’ can hypnotize people and lead them into perilous situations. To do this, according to the tales, they illuminate the path leading to such disasters, and this illumination is known as a ‘foxflare’ (kitsune bi).
Genius snatched from the cruel jaws of fate... er, snow
As I was walking home from work this morning, heavy of head and foot, I noticed some scraps of notebook paper sticking out of the snow. Curiosity drew me to examine more closely, and, seeing that there were pencil marks on the paper, I gingerly lifted it from the damp place it had been carelessly dropped. I saw right away it was no jejune mash note, no girlish letter proclaiming empty threats of ass-kicking and bitch cutting. No, as I leafed ever more anxiously through the pages, I found myself drawn into a gripping tale fraught with betrayal,pathos and tragedy, a tale that through its raw simplicity cuts to very core of the human condition. My hands trembled, and not from the cold. I raced home, gingerly bearing home the damp and curling pages, knowing that this was a thing that had to be preserved for the ages. I regret only that we have no way of knowing what fathomless soul put Ticonderoga to paper to sear such a masterpiece into my consciousness.
You, my dear and gentle readers are the first people to see this besides the Artist and myself. And fortunate you are!
I give you:
DUDE PUSHING ANOTHER DUDE OFF A LEDGE
The action begins with the Push, as all actions do. Our protagonist already knows he is in danger, as if he knew all along his friend would turn on him.
I see parallels to God casting Lucifer from heaven. His arms, now moving more frantically, appear to be wings. Of an angel? Perhaps.
What does The Betrayer hold in his murderous hand? Is it a halo? A crown of thorns? Or simply some vulgar earthly treasure that has clouded his mind with avarice, thus leading him to his vile actions?
Here, the antagonist is headless, as his bloodlust has rendered him senseless.
The victim falls, still faceless to us.
As he becomes fully cognizant of his plight, he cries out.
His eyes widen in alarm.
He cries out louder, for help, though he knows, there are none who can help him now.
He attempts to bargain, should God or Devil hear him and make a deal to spare his life. Yet he knows he is not heard - he is truly alone now, more alive and present than he has ever been in these, his last moments.
This reality overtakes him. His life flashes before his eyes. He is measured, and found wanting.
As he falls, he comes closer to us.
We can read every line in his face, now. And we know him
His terror is ours. His face is the face of us all.
As he falls toward us, his scream swallows us whole.
You, my dear and gentle readers are the first people to see this besides the Artist and myself. And fortunate you are!
I give you:
DUDE PUSHING ANOTHER DUDE OFF A LEDGE
The action begins with the Push, as all actions do. Our protagonist already knows he is in danger, as if he knew all along his friend would turn on him.
I see parallels to God casting Lucifer from heaven. His arms, now moving more frantically, appear to be wings. Of an angel? Perhaps.
What does The Betrayer hold in his murderous hand? Is it a halo? A crown of thorns? Or simply some vulgar earthly treasure that has clouded his mind with avarice, thus leading him to his vile actions?
Here, the antagonist is headless, as his bloodlust has rendered him senseless.
The victim falls, still faceless to us.
As he becomes fully cognizant of his plight, he cries out.
His eyes widen in alarm.
He cries out louder, for help, though he knows, there are none who can help him now.
He attempts to bargain, should God or Devil hear him and make a deal to spare his life. Yet he knows he is not heard - he is truly alone now, more alive and present than he has ever been in these, his last moments.
This reality overtakes him. His life flashes before his eyes. He is measured, and found wanting.
As he falls, he comes closer to us.
We can read every line in his face, now. And we know him
His terror is ours. His face is the face of us all.
As he falls toward us, his scream swallows us whole.
Some people are simply better than you.
Do you doubt this? Yes?
Then clearly, you do not know of Roy Schildt, aka MR. AWESOME.
HIS NAME IS MR. AWESOME. He is the WORLD RECORD HOLDER for the game Missile Command. He was Playgirl's Real Man of the Year 1988!!! He once met Madonna Ciccone, the Famous Rock Star!!!! He will teach you how to pick up girls! And if you can't afford a sperm bank...HE WILL SEND YOU HIS SPERM! HIS AWESOME SPERM!!!!! HIS AWESOME SPERM WILL TEAR YOUR WOMB ASUNDER!!!!
Video may be TOO AWESOME for work.
Via fourfour, which is also AWESOME.
Then clearly, you do not know of Roy Schildt, aka MR. AWESOME.
HIS NAME IS MR. AWESOME. He is the WORLD RECORD HOLDER for the game Missile Command. He was Playgirl's Real Man of the Year 1988!!! He once met Madonna Ciccone, the Famous Rock Star!!!! He will teach you how to pick up girls! And if you can't afford a sperm bank...HE WILL SEND YOU HIS SPERM! HIS AWESOME SPERM!!!!! HIS AWESOME SPERM WILL TEAR YOUR WOMB ASUNDER!!!!
Video may be TOO AWESOME for work.
Via fourfour, which is also AWESOME.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
The people down the street clearly rule.
Why?
Because...
...they...
...made...
...SNOW TOTOROS!
I love it. Makes me hate winter just a little less. I wish I had taken a picture of the snowman kickin' it in an easy chair with a Heineken before the poor guy melted.
Oh well.
Because...
...they...
...made...
...SNOW TOTOROS!
I love it. Makes me hate winter just a little less. I wish I had taken a picture of the snowman kickin' it in an easy chair with a Heineken before the poor guy melted.
Oh well.
Ivan Maximov : Lovely and Strange
I came across the films of Russian Animator Ivan Maximov last year, and just fell madly in love. It's got a similar feeling to Bruno Bozzetto's work, but with a much more surreal sensibility and a dreamlike pace. Here's a brief sample, but there are many more. He has also created a game, Full Pipe, which I have yet to play but appears to be completely amazing.
Enjoy!
5/4(1990)
N+2(1993)
Libido of Benjamin(1994)
Slow Bistro(2003)
Provincial School(1992)
From Left to Right(1989)
Enjoy!
5/4(1990)
N+2(1993)
Libido of Benjamin(1994)
Slow Bistro(2003)
Provincial School(1992)
From Left to Right(1989)
while I'm messing around, please enjoy this film
Sunday, February 3, 2008
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